Hi All. It's a new year and I have decided to write with a different slant. Whatever is on my mind is what will appear in my blog. Trendy plus size dresses caught my eye. I don't see myself as a plus size woman. I still wear normal size pants but could definitely use to lose a few pounds. If I were to dress in a trendy style, I can tell you for sure, it will not be in a plus size dress. This probably has to do with my own self esteem but I wouldn't be caught dead in an off the shoulder waist hugging dress if I had more than 100 pounds to lose. And in my eyes, that's what it would take for me to be a plus size. Now, I could be wrong about this. There really isn't a written rule about plus size; it's all in the eye of the beholder. I know some plus size woman who feel beautiful inside and out. They would look great in a trendy plus size dress. Not me. So this forces me to take a hard look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I don't feel beautiful inside and out at my current weight. I am not near my own, self established plus size range, but when I look in the mirror, I wonder when the baby is due. My stomach is what catches my eye: round, protruding in such a way as to force my eyes there directly every morning. I seem to define my self image by my stomach and this is pretty depressing for me. I know that my weight is pretty evenly distributed, but my stomach pops out at me daily and shouts for attention. My size really does matter when it comes to my self esteem and self perception. Every bite I take is full of conscious thought; I am not a mindless eater. My problem is, I have a short attention span and my conscious thoughts are sometimes self defeating. I am super motivated every morning when I look in the mirror. I tell myself: "Today is the day you will begin eating healthier and taking your health seriously". Breakfast turns out fine and somewhere between lunch and dinner it all falls apart. I fool myself into thinking it won't hurt me just this one time. Well, I have had about 15 years of "Just this one time" and it has not been very helpful. Today, I stood looking in the mirror and told myself "This is the day! You will start eating healthy and begin reducing that cholesterol that that has been creeping up over the years". I did fine till after lunch, when the little individually wrapped chocolate treats called my name. My rational "I need to eat these quickly so they won't be here to haunt me later". BOOM! Trendy plus size here I come. This really needs to stop.
So I think I will talk to my food before I eat it and ask some serious questions. Are you healthy? Will you help me stay full and satisfied? I know you taste good but are you nutritionally sound? Will you help me lose weight, not gain it? If my food answers in a way that will sabotage my plan, I vow here and now, it will not pass between my lips.
I will not become part of the Trendy Plus Size population.
Wish me luck :)